A New Book

Who Wants the World? is, at last, available at amazon.com or .co.uk. 

The Epic Journey of a Thousand Miles by the Order of the Flying Pigs

Honey is the latest recruit to the Order of the Flying Pigs. The pet of a friend, twe soon had kidnapped, adopted and inscripted her into the Order.

Honey started to misbehave. Once every 10 secondes, the battalion would halt whilst doggy given a stiff talking to. The Party regained it momentum, entuisiasme and pace... Or had it... Over the corn, the village still loomed, distant... Ian suggested turning back, the Sun was punishing us, the temperature rising. Still so long to go.

On our left, a field. But not just a field, a shortcut, though the village, reducing the journey by over 5% !

Soon, we had made it to the village. A cloud obscured the streets and and having cut a section of our long travel, we felt ever so slighlty refreshed. The was a bar at our left, but no ! We would face nature and continue, never stopping till our journey was complete ! We quited the village to be on the open road, inbetween a field of cows and a field of wheat, Wheat... lots of wheat... fields of wheat... a tremendous amount of wheat...

The sun seemed to have doubled its energy. The heat was hitting us like a rain of boilling water, like a physical wall falling on us. We reached a hamlet, a seek of refuge, but no, we continued !

Or did we... Lord Firth was too mighty. We found shade and callosped, exhausted.

But the house was only a hundred meters a way. Ian yelled at us : « Back in ranks » and we obeyed. The dream, the vision, the sight of a cool glass of water pushed us on forward. But with the heat so hight, could we ever make it ?! Would we just fall to the floor, and melt into the tarmac ?! This is the Epic of the Flying Pig. The challange which all priests of the Order must complete to become fully menbers within our church. And what of our dream of water ? It vanished... It was remplaced by ice cold home made milkshakes. What a shame....

BRITISH BREAKFAST

We knew we were really back in UK after a few years away when Granny served up this traditional farmhouse breakfast. The kids went to heaven after all the vegetarian nonsense I have been feeding them over the months. The eggs were free range from the neighbour, the bacon supplied by the organic butcher in Kington, the tomatoes were as small as marbles and sweet as cherries, fried potatoes from the garden and of course Heinz Baked Beans straight out of the tin.  If it wasn't for the fact that house prices are so high in th UK I'd be tempted to move back.

Meet Fried, scrambled, poached and boiled

Hens are up in price, the trader wanted 8 euros a bird this year, but I got a deal at 5 euros for babies. Being young, I hope they survive the unseasonably cold weather at the moment, and it may be a few weeks before they are old enough to lay. The fence is in reasonable condition after the sheep pulled it down repeatedly last year. I can't say it is fox proof until I have had a good look, the grass is very overgrown? But as it has rained for 7 days straight and looks like rain and hail for the next 7 days so I am confined to the house. This is good news for finishing the book which is a bit behind schedule as usual.

instant instant pot noodles

Hugh gave me the idea to make my own pot noodles

http://www.channel4.com/4food/recipes/chefs/hugh-fearnley-whittingstall/chorizo-and-tomato-instant-noodles-recipe

but here are my extra tips from my varying experiments

1  Invest in a good sturdy tupperware pot noodle shaped cup with lid, about 2 euros
2 Limit the amount of salt and stock, it doesn't take much too make it too salty
3 Buy thin noodles if you want them to cook in the pot in the traditional pot noodle way
4 Use spring or dried onions rather than finely chopped normal onions
5 Be inventive and experimental until you find the perfect recipe

 It takes me about 3 minutes to prepare these asian delights, perfect for the kids supper or as a lunchtime snack

We exist in stasis during the Siberian winter. No water for 2 weeks and a kitchen full of empty 5 litre bottles of mineral water, rapidly running out of heating oil, no toilet, bath, running water of any kind. The ground is frozen and the machines in the yard are frozen in time and only the onset of some future thaw will reveal the damage ... if the tractor gives up, or the car, we are fucked !

The delivery of gravel with which to finish the cottage never arrived. All work on the guesthouse is on hold. Everything is on hold. We monitor the forecast daily in hope of a rise in temperature, just a few degrees would do it. Until then, we just keep warm by the fire, make kindling, survive ...

Nut Roast

This is my nut roast recipe that meant I could never go back to meat ... I'll put a pic on here shortly ...

2 big onions, chopped

cloves garlic loads

medium mushrooms, i use frozen, chop em up

spoon of flour

cup of vegetable stock (or water)

150 gms finely chopped nuts

3 cups breadcrumbs

soy sauce

dried herbs

any fresh herbs very important !!!

Salt and pepper

Method

fry the onion in the oil for about five minutes or until soft. Add the garlic and mushrooms. Cook for a few more minutes.

Sprinkle the flour on top. Stir well. Add the stock. simmer sfor a while. Stir in the nuts, breadcrumbs, soy sauce, herbs and seasoning etc and cook it a bit.

squash it into a tin

Bake for 30 - 40 minutes

leave to go cold in fridge, slice onto plate, heat up in microwave